It's like having a dog that slowly learns how to talk.

So maybe comparing kids to dogs is wrong, but Josh and I can't help but say that little quote from a Scrubs episode when we're discussing the boy's developing language skills.

The process is so fun.

A few weeks ago he started crying 20 minutes or so after we put him down. He had been waking up like that for the previous few nights... I usually check him and make sure everything is fine, then put him right back, even if he cries, so he doesn't get in the habit of staying up. But he is usually so great at going down at night- so I thought something must be going on. Teething maybe? I hadn't noticed any new teeth, but it was possible. So anyways, I decided to get him and bring him out so he could chill with Josh and I. We started talking to him and really trying to figure out what was wrong.
"Are you happy?"
"No."
"Are you sad?"
"Sad."
"What's wrong? Are you hungry"
"No."
"Is it freaky in your room?" (He knows freaky means scary-ish... we say freaky spider, freaky... I don't know what else we say it for but he knows what it means!)
"Freaky!"
"Are you freaked out?"
"Freaked out!"
He proceeded to say freaked out a million times. Or maybe like 15.
Then all on his own, he pointed to his room:
"Dark room!"

Ah! My heart melted. So cute and so sad. The boy is scared of the dark now. I just wanted to hug him forever when I heard that. We had a nightlight in the hallway and I moved it to his bedroom. I hadn't put a nightlight in there before because I thought it might keep him up at night. I took him back to his room and showed him the light that would be there so it wouldn't be so dark. Josh and I talked to him about what a safe and happy place his bedroom was.
I changed his diaper and he started pointing to everything in his room and saying it was happy.
"Happy wall. Happy ceiling. Happy pig. (He has a piggy bank) Happy bed."
Cutie!
The nightlight has worked wonders- he sleeps great now!

photo dump.

Here ya go.

 

"hi bug."

my rabid little girly.

playhouse funtimes.

 

I love that little arm.

the boy gets so excited about this girl.

You're welcome.

milestone time.

She rolled over for the first time today! 

Oh yeah, and she haaates being on her tummy. 

being the mama.

       Shortly after the birth of my gorgeous baby girl, I got into a sort of mental funk. It didn't last long, thanks to a stellar hubs -Oh, have I ever mentioned how great he is? Yes? Ok just making sure- and a change in perspective... or rather remembering that an eternal perspective is always the source of joy.
       A couple weeks after Pearl was born I started to feel a little trapped. Just stuck at home, ya know? I don't know why, but I found myself thinking of the times before kids, when I could go wherever, whenever, basically- and hang out with friends and the like. When I used to be able to shower in the mornings and put makeup on and do my hair everyday. And go to the bathroom alone. I don't know what it was about having two rather than one. Maybe it was me not knowing exactly how to divide my attention, and being a little overwhelmed- I don't know. So what got me out of this ridiculous little attitude?

    Getting out with the hubs. That first month Josh and I got to go out a few times on actual dates. That was such a refresher for me. I'm so grateful to good friends who have watched our kiddies! Leaving a newborn might be hard- mentally- but I'm convinced that it really is ok- no, necessary-  to get out for a couple hours once in a while during the first couple of months. It can sure be hard when you're breastfeeding, but if you're only gone for a couple hours and can leave a bottle of pumped milk, you really don't need to stress about it. (Yeah right, huh?)

   My amazing kids, duh! Going out with my man is SO much fun. But so is coming home to the cutest, greatest kids in the world. Seriously, it's such a special feeling to come home to them. Even after just a couple hours. Josh and I are suckers for those kids. We enjoy our time together but we always miss them when we're gone. So after having those feelings of motherhood jadedness, then going out with Josh and coming home to those kids... I felt better. I looked into their eyes, gave them hugs and kisses, and played and laughed with them (Pearl doesn't laugh a ton yet, but she's still fun) and felt better. I look at them, you know, really look at them, and I see pure joy.

And I just started thinking about motherhood and the importance of it. How can I not feel important when I am literally someone's whole world? Morgan's world is getting bigger every day but I'm still such a huge part of it. I'm everything to him. And Pearl- she relies on me for every tiny little thing. I really am her everything. And Josh and those kids are mine.

So I guess what really got me out of it is remembering what it's all about. These relationships I have that are eternal and the source of true happiness.


   

cute kiddies and corn kernels.

We got to go to a pumpkin patch with our awesomely awesome friends. It was great times. See?

Love...

... it is a river...
Ok sorry. (Napolean Dynamite anyone?)

So I've been trying to go to sleep for the past hour and a half but can't. And you bet I'm tired- I'm a mom of two kids under age two. Not complaining mind you- just saying. But I know, it's early right? It could have been a glorious thing to get like a good 8 hours of sleep. But that hasn't happened the past three months and I don't know when it will happen next. (My girly is a nighttime eater for sure.)

Anyways, sleep is so not what I wanted to talk about. I want to talk about love.

I just couldn't stop thinking about love.

What it is, what it means, how it feels. Mainly how abundantly I have it in my life and how crazy, crazy, blessed I am.

Man, I love my kids. They are... love embodied. They are manifestations of God's love for me. They are Josh and I's love. They are also SO their own persons, with souls capable of loving themselves and others all on their own.
And I know they both love me too. A lot.

But what really kept me awake is thinking about how blessed I am to have Josh's love. This guy...
has taught me the meaning of love.
His caring for me is so genuine, passionate, and pure.
Love is complete unselfishness and Josh understands and demonstrates that everyday.
And he has a sense of humor to boot. Which I am so crazy about.
We have fun, people. A lot of fun.
If you know Josh and I really well, you know that we aren't fans of being separated for very long. I want to be with him like... all the time. Obviously we can't at this point in our lives, but we do everything we can to maximise our time together.
When I see him after work or when we wakes up (since he works nights), it is quite literally like Christmas morning. So cheesy, but SO true. I'm the happiest girl on the planet. I feel like doing a little dance. And I usually do. (Poor Jaclyn knows this firsthand now)

Aaanyways, our life isn't glam or anything, but it's so much better than that. Our love for each other and our kiddies is so real.

We've been married 3 years and a couple months and we are so much more in love than we were on that day. I know it will just keep getting better too, which makes the future look pretty bright. And by pretty bright I mean amaaaazing. Seriously.

Our wedding day was a dang good day though.