Monday, August 25, 2014

I'm back.

This has definitely been the longest blogging break I've taken since starting it up almost four years ago. (That last little post didn't count.) I think it's hardest to write when there's too much to write about. And then the longer you go the more it piles up, and you don't want to forget the things you want to write about and start over, so you just let it pile up in your mind until it's too dang overwhelming. Is that how it is for anybody else?

Well I'm sure I've forgotten most of the things I'v wanted to write about. I'm a very (very) forgetful person so I'm really fooling myself when I think I'll remember things.

Also, pondering my blogging break and the inability to take 10 minutes to write a little tiny somethin', I think there's even more to it than the overwhelmingness. I do admit I have a love/hate relationship with the idea of blogging in general. I mean, why does one blog? There are some really great reasons. To record the happenings of your life for friends, family, and posterity. (Blogs vary in content and purpose but I'm focusing more on journal-type blogs as opposed to a niche expert or any other type.) A good reason to blog is for enjoyment. If you enjoy writing, it's a great outlet. Also the aesthetic design is a wonderful creative outlet if you're into that. They can be a good way to make friends too, if having internet friends is your thang. So blogs are good, methinks. I'm intrigued by everything I just mentioned.

But a part of me is averted to the idea. Is it self absorbed to go on about your life and everything you have? Gratitude is AWESOME and key to happiness but some blogs out there seem a little wrapped up in themselves. And I'm scared of sounding like that. Because it annoys me. I love the blogs that are more raw and the writers have a real ability to keep it real. I want to strive for that. I think that my location of Utah Vally makes me gag a little bit. I'm a Utah momma blogger. Ack. I'm really not trying to "dis" (do people still say that?) Utah and the bloggers thereof- there are some truly amazing ones! Like, seriously inspiring- but there are just things that bug me about the scene up in here. The main thing being that there IS a scene. It usually looks like a young mama with perfect hair and an outfit straight off of pinterest, with a baby in moccs and tribal print leggings. Or something more fashion forward that I don't even know about. But I feel conflicted because I do like those things... baby moccs are cute and tribal prints are way fun. It's more the attitude that being hip should be one of your very top priorities in life. That's what it is. That's the vibe I get. I just feel like there's a lot of pressure and I pine for a more chill environment.

I just want to keep it chill, you guys.

So anyways, this is totally a momma blog, since my kids are my priority and therefore the majority of my content. And my location is Utah.

I just want to be original, authentic, and a little different. But the thing is, I will absolutely post about how excited I am that my baby is breaking a tooth and saying "mama"... so yeah.

I think the only answer here is to write as authentically as possible and just embrace it. Motherhood is beautiful and ugly and special and monotonous and it's as unique as every individual. It's unique, but also a sisterhood and community. Oh how I love it.

Hopefully it won't be another eight months until you hear from me.

Here are three little pieces of my soul: